This past month several people have offered

• to help me with writing my sponsorship letter
• to send the letter to potential sponsors
• to help with my presentation for the Blogging While Brown conference

And none of these people have followed through. Am I disappointed? Yes. Did it affect me greatly? No.  In fact, the whole experience has taught me a few lessons.

1. You know who you can depend on in times of need
2. Don’t turn down help if offered, but really access the credibility of the person offering and question their time and availability to assist
3. People that you think have clout really don’t
4. People you think will help you, won’t
5. No one is going to look out for you like you will so you better do what you need to do for you or else you’ll be SOL
6. Don’t be like those people

The experience wasn’t all bad. There were a few people who offered to help and they came through. And I want to thank them from the bottom of my heart.

However, to the people who offered to help and don’t follow through: It’s really OK if you cannot do it. For me personally, it would be better if you don’t offer at all than to offer and not help.

I posted on my status updates that I was rejected by a publication and I thought that was great news.  My friend asked me if my LinkedIn was personal or professional. I told him professional. He felt that my comment was personal.

I disagree. First of all, it shows that I am making efforts to be be published. Second, it shows my attitude about being rejected. I could have been in a funk. Of course, I could have not said anything about what I’m doing which will do nothing for my “social footprint.”  And, it’s allowing me to be me. Normally I put stuff out about what I’m doing professionally, which is cool but that gets boring. Lastly, I’m very mindful to about what I say on social sites so there is great huge difference between personal and professional.

The great blessing of that update was that I allowed other people to see who I am. I have been afraid to show the real me. I don’t know why, I just was. But after reading, “Dare to Be Yourself,” by Alan Cohen, I am working on being myself which is a great feeling. No one can hold me back except me and that is no longer an option.

Why am I writing this? First, opinions, like belly buttons – everybody has one. Second, if I allowed other people’s opinion to determine my actions, I would never do anything. Third, I’m happy being me.

I went to a professional association meeting last night and saw a leader of another local organization. She told said, “Sometimes you have to work for free…” I so sick of hearing that shit, I don’t know what to do. When I met the leader of that association, he said the same thing. I told him to call me when he’s ready.

I do write for free for certain publications and blogs to help them and to get my name out. And I’ve worked for free for the past 2 years to prove myself an entrepreneur, journalist and blogger.

I told the young lady that although some situations dictate free labor, my mortgage says otherwise. I’m sure that everyone who suggests that I work for free has a job to pay their monthly expenses. And I’m sure they get paid for everything they do. Well, my business is how I pay my bills. I can’t call my mortgage company and say that I had a free project that I would like to use to pay my mortgage.

Long story short, I’m going to have to get in front of a different audience. This is ridiculous and very unnerving at this point.

A Real-Shiny Marcie

This is a rhetorical question because the other alternative is being ashy so I guess I can’t complain. But just looking at this picture, I am pretty shiny. What can be done to handle this?

Right now, I’m in a real pissy mood and I really need to express things that I hate or I’m going to pop.

First, I hate it when people want you to respond immediately to their needs but could give a damn about yours. I have a buddy who was supposed to do something for me in March. It was not done. Now that he needs something, he’s been on my line at least 3 times today. I told him this morning that I would not be able to do it until later this evening. He eventually cancelled his request.

Second, I hate it when people leave comments on my page because I left comments on theirs. Really, it’s Ok if you don’t leave a comment. In fact, would really prefer if they didn’t, especially if they feel  obliged to return to favor. Long story shorty: do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to.

Third, I hate that I stifling my own progress because I’m afraid of losing clients I really don’t have. I have not been overly verbal with things I want to say for the sake of my business. But, the think I’m avoiding may be the thing to propel me forward. I feel sooooo…..I don’t know how to feel.

Fourth, I hate that I don’t have the money to do everything I want to do right now. But I know it’s coming but it’s a little frustrating not knowing when.

Fifth, I hate it when people say they want to be bigger than Facebook. I think I mentioned this before on here. And my response to those people would be to suck it up! The opportunity was there and it went to someone else. Get over it and keep creating.

Sixth, I hate that I always smile even though I’m not happy. It’s not really a front; it’s just a way to make myself feel better. But still. No matter how much I smile, it still hurts.

Well, that’s all I have for now. Actually, I hope that’s it.  That’s enough negativity.

One of my friends of over 30 years has straight abandoned me. I called him in December for help and he did not return my call. In fact I don’t think I’ve spoken to him since October or November of last year. I mourn the ending because of the years we spent together. But honestly, I’m not too upset for two reasons: 1) I have loads of pictures memories to hold tight to and 2) people are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime. And our season was over.

Here’s the situation. He was having problems with two of his cars which were about to be paid off. He also said that his wife’s vehicle was going also to be paid off. I was happy for him. In my little mind – and it wasn’t my business – he was going to be debt free from that perspective. Instead of being debt free, he went and bought a new truck.

Please keep in mind, I know it wasn’t my business but he’s my friend so I spoke my mind.

While I should have been happy for him, I was disappointed. First of all, he has a family -  a wife and 3 kids. His oldest child is 13 with the other two not too far behind, so college funds are in order. And, they’ve been married for over 10 years and live in an apartment. Normally, I wouldn’t say anything or even care, but he’s been talking about a house for his family for years. So, why in hell would you go out and get this new expense when you were almost free and clear?

He told me that his boys kept touching each other in his other cars. That was a crock since none of them are really heavy. They may be husky because he’s husky, but they aren’t that big yet. And they haven’t reached their teen years, yet.

So, he was excited when he came to show me his new ride but I couldn’t be happy for him. I know it had nothing to do with me, but I felt that he had more pressing things to do with his money. His grocery bill couldn’t be that cheap since he has growing boys; they have extracurricular activities; and a house and college funds should be on his list of priorities. When I asked him if he had college funds, he said, “No, but I life insurance.” So, I’m sitting there thinking, “If he doesn’t die, then what? Would that stop them from going to college?”

So, after that conversation, he has been ghost. But the thing is, even after 30 years of friendship and they way it ended, I’m wondering how much I really care.

Now, I just have to publish it and prepare it for download. It should be ready before the end of this week. Woo hoo!

I have been working on getting my business started for years now. And, although I get support, people really don’t help unless I ask and I don’t feel I should have to do that. Not all the time anyway. Especially when they know what I’m doing.

So, this gripe is about people who get involved in multilevel marketing groups and want me to get involved in their stuff, but they are not helping with mine. Most times I have to say no or ignore the request in generally.

I don’t mind helping others.  But when I’m not getting the same support, especially now when I need it, I refuse to give my time and energy to people who don’t care. The one thing that they definitely cannot have is my time.

Image: SEO Consultants

Gossips annoy me. I’m around two and although they are very dear to me, they suck! My female friend is a successful business owner and is about to get engaged; yet, she has time to talk about other people’s business? Are you kidding me??

And the other person is a dude. I was trying to talk business with this guy and he can only hark on the negatives of the people we NEED to make a project possible. He talk so much shit that he misses stuff. I told him something and I know he wasn’t listening. He came back a couple months later asking me to refresh his memory. I didn’t. Because if he was listening, he would have known.

I said all of that to say: Shut the hell up and get a life!

Image: Ron Martin

I am so tired of hearing people say, “Don’t you wish you had created Facebook?” or “I’m going to create the next Facebook.” Well, I have one thing to say to all of those people: you could have done it first. Everything you see started in the mind. If there is anything you think is needed, guess what? You can create it.  And, FB started out as a way to connect with college alumni and became a worldwide phenomena.  Your creation and be the same.

All you have to do is dream it, work it and have faith that something WILL happen.